Quotes

The strange and intimate details of one’s personal sex life — or lack thereof — can be challenging to work through. It helps to do so with a sense of humor. Read these quotes from celebrities:

“Men are terrible at sex. It never even occurs to us to do it well.”

– Louis C.K.

“You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.”

– Tina Fey

“You can’t talk about fucking in America, right? People say you’re dirty. But if you talk about killing somebody, that’s cool.”

– Richard Pryor

“I do want women to feel comfortable with themselves as sexual beings, and I don’t think anyone should have to apologize for that or act like, ‘Oh No, I’m a girls, I only want to have sex if it’s to make a baby.'”

– Amy Schumer

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”

– Billy Crystal

“You know ‘that look’ women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”

– Steve Martin

“We’re taught through images and media’s subconscious messages that we have to look one way to be aesthetically valuable or sexually appreciated. You know, that we have to be Aryan and waifish for us to make people horny. But that just ain’t true.”

– Ilana Glazer

“If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?”

– Bette Midler

“Here’s what happens when you are late to the sex game… If your crotch could make a sound it would be a motorcycle revving itself, but staying parked.”

– Jenny Slate

“If you don’t eat pussy, keep walking.”

– Amy Poehler

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